The Importance Of Self Compassion

Let’s do a little thought experiment.

Close your eyes for a moment and remember a time where you felt demotivated or defeated.

For example, maybe you felt discouraged after getting fired from a job or passed over for a promotion.

Or perhaps you remember feeling rejected after a romantic break up.

When you think back to how you spoke to yourself during such stressful experiences, were you kind?

Or did you beat yourself up or blame yourself for the situation?

Self criticism is often our go to when things don’t go our way.

But having self compassion during times of stress is an important skill that everyone can learn.

I’m Dr. Sheila Dyer, a naturopathic doctor in Toronto, and when it comes to holistic health, there’s a lot more than just the physical.

Sure, it’s important to get the vitamins you need, and I can help with your eczema or with managing your heart disease naturally.

But mental health is just as important as physical when it comes to achieving optimal health.

There are botanicals that can help soothe your anxiety and other naturopathic mental health solutions, of course.

But all the botanicals in the world will only go so far if you’re overly self critical.

Today, we’re going to go over the basics of self compassion and how you can go about practicing it in your everyday life.

What Is Self Compassion?

Self compassion incorporates three core values: self kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness.

A good way to think about self compassion is to consider how you’d console an upset friend or loved one.

When our friends are going through rough times, we tend to show them a lot more empathy and compassion than we typically afford to ourselves.

So, practicing self compassion can be as simple as treating ourselves the same way we’d treat a close friend.

Self compassion can look different depending on the individual person or the specific situation.

For instance, sometimes practicing self compassion might mean saying no to a situation you know will make you feel uncomfortable.

In others, it might mean listening to your body’s needs and getting the rest you need.

Some people were taught to be self compassionate from a young age.

The rest of us need to learn and practice it to master it.

What Happens When We Practice Self Compassion?

When you practice self compassion, you increase your likelihood of experiencing better health, relationships, and general wellbeing.

It might be tempting to write off the idea of self compassion or think of it as “woo woo” stuff.

But research shows that people who practice self compassion enjoy a variety benefits, such as:

• Greater happiness and life satisfaction
• Increased motivation
• Improved relationships
• Better physical health
• Lower levels of anxiety and depression
• More resilience towards stressful life events, such as divorce or job loss

In short, practicing self compassion can set the stage for better health, relationships, and general well being.

Is Self Compassion And Mindfulness The Same?

Mindfulness certainly plays an important role in self compassion, but that doesn’t mean that they are exactly the same.

Although similar, self compassion and mindfulness have distinct differences.

For instance, mindfulness focuses primarily on accepting the experience itself without judgment.

Mindfulness asks, essentially, “what am I experiencing?”

Self compassion, on the other hand, asks “What does my body need as it goes through this experience?”

It focuses on caring for yourself in order to cope with an experience that may be less than pleasant.

Ultimately, both self compassion and mindfulness help us to go through life with less resistance and an ability to accept when things are difficult.

Is Self Compassion The Same As Self Indulgence?

Some people believe that self compassion is nothing more than feeling sorry for yourself and giving in to self indulgent desires.

In truth, people who practice self compassion are less likely to ruminate on how bad things are.

Unlike self indulgence, self compassion focuses on long term wellbeing rather than short term pleasure.

It’s not about emotional eating or binging on junk food, but about doing what you need to do to make it through a difficult time.

Research shows that self compassionate people tend to engage in healthier behaviours, such as eating healthy, exercising, and drinking less alcohol.

Does Self Compassion Demotivate You?

Some people feel like self criticism is a motivating factor, and for some that may be true.

After all, recognizing what you don’t like about your life can be a useful step toward finding what actually does work.

But that only goes so far.

When we self criticize, we become comfortable with the familiar and develop a fear of failure.

In contrast, self compassion gives us the motivation to complete our goals out of a desire to reach our full potential.

Research shows that self compassionate people have higher personal standards and don’t resort to self criticism when they experience failure.

How To Practice Self Compassion

If you weren’t taught about self compassion from a younger age, you might feel overwhelmed at the thought of training yourself to practice it.

Fortunately, there are simple, everyday practices you can participate in that’ll slowly but surely teach you how to practice self compassion.

Here’s a list of a few of them:

1. Do Something That Comforts You

Doing something that provides your body with comfort is a great way to encourage positive connections with yourself.

It provides a great stepping stone to practicing self compassion.

The next time you’re feeling stressed or anxious, consider treating yourself to something that makes you feel good.

The specifics don’t matter – everybody enjoys different things.

What matters is that it’s something you enjoy.

Some ideas include:

• Getting a massage
• Getting acupuncture near me
• Taking a hot bubble bath
• Going for a scenic walk
• Spending time in an artistic pursuit
• Enjoying a healthy snack

2. Begin A Mindfulness Practice

Mindfulness involves being in the moment and accepting the thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations that the moment brings.

Focusing on mindfulness while mediating or a quick exercise is a great way to nurture our bodies when we are experiencing pain or distress.

3. Write Yourself A Letter

It might feel a little silly, but writing yourself a letter can help you to describe stressful situations without asserting blame, including yourself.

You can even write the letter from the perspective of a friend or family member.

Think of what you’d say if you were writing a letter to a friend going through something similar.

This can help you find encouragement and self compassion.

4. Encourage Yourself

Last but not least, encouraging yourself when you’re facing a tough situation can help you better cope with it.

Think about what you’d say to a close friend if they were going through the exact same situation.

Then, stand in front of a mirror and say it to yourself.

Book Your Appointment With Dr. Sheila Dyer, ND, Today

Practicing self compassion is one of the ways naturopathic doctors work with our clients to improve their overall health and wellbeing.

At my clinic, we can work with you in a variety of ways to get you feeling your very best.

Book your appointment with me, Dr. Sheila Dyer, ND, today, to get started on building your individual wellness plan to move towards a healthier tomorrow.